


maybe one day

by bazookajo94



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: 4 + 1 thing, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, date date, movie date, sue me, the 4 times Patrick pretended to date David and the 1 time they went on a real date, wedding cake tasting date, yes i stole this idea from one of my own fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:47:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28112625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bazookajo94/pseuds/bazookajo94
Summary: Patrick Brewer keeps pretending to date David Rose. David Rose is very flustered.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 22
Kudos: 178





	maybe one day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [teytortots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teytortots/gifts).



> heepee beethdee bish 😘

Patrick first saw him smelling the handmade soaps and grimacing after each sniff. The man’s companion, who was trying to terrorize him into smelling a soap that smelled like “the Earth, David, it smells like dirt, I think you’ll really like it,” and Patrick watched as they wrestled until the soap fell, and then David, staring first at the soap and then his companion, said, “I will not be picking that up,” and then turned to the candles.

Patrick, biting back a smile, ventured closer to the candles himself.

He began smelling down the row, slowly making his way closer to David down the line, when the shop keep approached them. By then David and Patrick were side-by-side, politely ignoring each other.

“Are you picking out something for the home?” the shop keep asked. Patrick looked up and saw David do the same beside him. The shop keep smiled warmly at them.

“What?” David asked. His companion was by the bath bombs.

“I would recommend this one. It’s supposed to secrete hope and wellness into a couple’s home.” 

David, clearly grappling with everything the shop keep was insinuating, got caught up instead on only one word—“ _Secrete_?”

Patrick, smiling, turned and held the candle up to David’s nose. “I think it smells great. Don’t you, babe?”

David shook his head. He took a step back. His companion was suddenly by David’s side again. “ _Babe_?” David asked.

Patrick took another sniff of the candle. He met the companion’s gaze and winked before saying, “Very Earthy.”

“Oh,” the companion said. She smiled at Patrick. “You’re funny. He’s funny.”

David was still trying to get away from the candle. “He’s not funny. _None_ of this is funny.”

The shop keep was behind them, saying, “And have you had a chance to look at our rugs? Our handspun welcome mats know how to tie a room together. What’s the color scheme of your house?”

Patrick and David’s friend looked at David expectantly. “What is happening here?” David asked, swinging his arms to encapsulate the circle of people around him.

“She’s asking about the color scheme of our house, David,” Patrick said conversationally.

“ _David?_ I’m sorry, do I know you?” David circled his arms again.

Patrick slapped a hand to his chest, hurt. David’s friend smirked and looked down. The shop keep gasped behind them.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry! I-I just assumed—”

Patrick maneuvered until he was standing beside David so he could throw a casual arm around his shoulder. He said, “It’s understandable. The chemistry between us? Oof.”

David, standing stiff, said, “ _Chemistry?_ ”

David’s friend laughed. David wriggled out from under Patrick’s arm and began pushing his friend to the door. “We won’t be needing anything for our home, thank you so much. Bye!”

“But David!” Patrick heard the friend say. “What about your boyfriend!”

“Sh!” And then they were gone.

Patrick bought the candle. And the soap.

*

Patrick next saw him at the park, sulking beside a woman who was setting up a tripod in front of a tree. David wore thick, white-framed sunglasses and a black skirt and a knitted sweater. It was one hundred degrees outside.

“David, can you help, please?” the woman was saying as Patrick jogged up the path closer to them. 

“I didn’t want to be here so I don’t see why I should help.”

“Well, I need someone to help me take the pictures and block the sun from my face! These are going in my portfolio, David.”

David sighed.

Patrick jogged up to the tripod. “I’m starting to think this is fate,” he said.

David’s eyes widened. His friend whipped around. Her eyes widened, and then her face brightened, and she smiled. “Oh! Hello.” She tucked some hair behind her ear. “Can we help you?”

“No,” David said just as Patrick said, “Yes.”

“Um,” the friend said. “Hi. I’m Alexis.”

“Patrick.” They shook hands. David watched in silence. Patrick turned to David.

Alexis asked, “And what’s fate?”

Patrick smiled at David. David took a step toward the tripod and said, “Aren’t we here to take some pictures? Let’s take some pictures. This is for your portfolio, Alexis.”

Patrick said, “There are much better trees to pose in front of down the trail a bit. I’d be happy to show you where they are.”

Alexis pursed her lips in a smile. “Oh, would you? That would be great!” Alexis went to her tripod.

“Um, Alexis?”

“What, David?”

“What are you doing? You’re just gonna follow a sweaty man into the woods?”

“I’m not that sweaty,” Patrick said.

“And these aren’t the _woods_ , David. Stop being so rude to Pat.”

“Yeah, Dave, stop being so rude to your boyfriend.”

Alexis blinked. “I’m sorry; _boyfriend_?”

David said, “We’re not doing ‘Dave.’”

“Um, hi,” Alexis said to Patrick. “Did you say, ‘boyfriend’?”

“No,” David said just as Patrick said, “Yes.”

“But it’s fate, David,” Patrick said.

“We will find the trees on our own, thank you so much,” David said, and then he started pushing Alexis down the trail away from Patrick. He didn’t look back at Patrick and Patrick didn’t follow.

Patrick finished his jog with a smile.

*

The next time Patrick saw David, David was in a patisserie sampling a wedding cake by himself. Patrick, feeling guilty at the thought that he had been teasing an engaged man, walked in to apologize. As soon as he stood behind David, the baker walked in from the back with another sample of cake and said, “Oh! But I thought you said your fiancé couldn’t make it?”

“What?” David said, and then turned around. He choked on the bite of cake in his mouth at the sight of Patrick.

Patrick smiled at David, smiled at the baker, and then waited until the baker set down the sample and said she’d give them both a moment to decide while she went to grab another sample.

“I’m sorry,” Patrick said immediately. “I didn’t know you were engaged when—”

“Um!” David said. “No. I’m not.”

“Oh.” Patrick frowned at the three cake samples in front of David. “Then what are you doing?”

“Um,” David said again. “I’m eating cake.”

“For who?”

“Myself.”

“What?”

David sighed, and then he said in a quick, quiet, terse tone, “Sometimes I’ll go to bakeries and sample wedding cakes when I have a hard day. Is that a crime?”

“Wow, David,” Patrick said. And then he smiled. And then he sat down.

“What are you doing?” David asked.

“I’m sampling cakes with my fiancé.”

“ _Fiancé_?” David asked. Patrick picked up the sample of cake the baker had brought out and then held it up to David’s lips. “Open wide.”

David clamped his lips closed, but Patrick was delighted to see he was smiling.

Patrick popped the cake in his own mouth just as the baker emerged with cake pops.

“Oh, no,” David said.

“Oh, yes,” Patrick said. “Do you have those in lemon?”

*

The fourth time Patrick ran into David, it was at the movie theater. It was an old showing of an outdated film that the town council had pushed for a showing and won. Seating was packed, and Patrick was with Ray, and when he looked up and saw the people approaching the only two seats available, it was David and a woman who looked suspiciously like the star of the film being shown.

“David!” Patrick greeted, smiling.

David stopped walking and looked up. Moira Rose ran into his back. “What’s the hold up, David? You know I like to have at least ten minutes in my seat before the movie starts so that the cushion molds to my figure while I watch the show.”

“I think I saw some seats in the back. Let’s sit there,” David said, and then tried to take a step back.

“Why would I sit in the back when I can sit right here? Move.” Moira pushed David’s back, and David stiffly sat in the seat beside Patrick.

“You can hold my hand, if you want,” Patrick said as soon as David was settled.

“What was that, dear?” Moira said to David.

“Nothing,” David said.

“Boyfriends hold hands at theaters,” Patrick said.

“We’re fiancés,” David reminded him.

Patrick grinned. “Right. And what do fiancés do at theaters?”

“Don’t speak to each other and resent that they rushed into a marriage over a good piece of cake.”

“Why, David, are you flirting with me?”

“Who’s flirting?” Moira peeked around David’s shoulder. David faced forward. Patrick leaned over David and held out his hand.

“Hi, Mrs. Rose. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Well, I imagine it is!” Moira said, and then she smiled and leaned back. “David, be a dear and find my sunglasses. The lights in here are blinding.”

“It’s a movie theater.”

“Yes, and how do they expect me to enjoy the movie when the lights are this pale and sickly?”

Patrick bit back a smile. David turned to his mother. “The lights will go out when the movie starts.”

“And then I’m supposed to sit through a whole movie with my eyes besieged by the execrable light of the giant screen? My glasses, David.”

David sighed. “Fine. Where’s your purse?”

“Well, I believe I left it in the car.”

David sighed louder.

Moira turned to Patrick as soon as David had squeezed his way down the row, apologizing and patting people when he accidentally bumped into them so close. “And what’s this about a fiancé?” she asked.

Patrick smiled at Moira and said, “I am excited to see you on the big screen, Mrs. Rose.”

“Yes, I believe it will be a sight to behold for you.”

David returned just as the movie was starting. Patrick grappled around for David’s hand just as the trailers started, and David wrenched his arm as far from Patrick as he could.

“David, I can’t imagine it will be comfortable to sit like that the whole movie,” Moira said in what was probably supposed to be a polite whisper. Someone behind them shushed her.

“I’ll be fine,” David said. He wouldn’t look at Patrick, but Patrick saw the smile on his face. Patrick grinned.

*

“David, what’s this your mother tells me about a man at the movie theater hitting on you?”

“Oh my god, was it Pat?”

“We’re not doing ‘Pat.’”

“The sweaty man from the woods?”

“Who’s sweaty?”

“I heard he was David’s fiancé.”

“You’re getting married? I’ve never even met this man!” 

“Oh my god, Dad, can’t you see you’re embarrassing him? Look at his cute cheeks all red.”

“I cannot believe everyone but me has met David’s boyfriend.”

“He is not my boyfriend. He’s just a really nice guy who is…very excited to see me. All the time.”

“That really nice guy is obviously flirting with you, David.”

“Obviously not.”

“I might not know a lot about how the kids flirt these days, David, but even I saw that young man was flirting with you.”

“Okay. Let’s stop talking about Patrick. We’re not dating. He’s not my boyfriend. This is over.”

“We’ll see, David.”

“We won’t.”

“Okay, but we will.”

“We _won’t._ ”

*

The fifth time Patrick saw David, it was at a restaurant because he had asked him to be there. Well, he had asked David’s companion, the one from their first meeting—Stevie—to tell David to meet him at Café Tropical. Patrick had found Stevie on his hunt for David Rose, and she was all too happy to set this date up.

David was not as happy when he saw that it was Patrick waiting for him at the table instead of Stevie.

“Well, don’t you look nice,” David said as he sat down.

“And don’t you look ecstatic to see me,” Patrick said as David picked up a menu and immediately hid behind it, which was not at all hard to do.

“Yes, well, I thought I was meeting a friend.”

“Aren’t we friends?”

“We don’t even know each other.”

“I know enough.”

“No, you don’t.”

Patrick didn’t say anything, waiting for David to put down the menu. When he wouldn’t lower it, Patrick placed two fingers on top of the menu and slowly lowered it himself. “Yes, I do,” he said in a soft, firm voice, and David looked at Patrick, scared, confused, and flustered, for two seconds before he raised the menu back in front of his face.

David cleared his throat. “So. Um. Well.”

“So what’s good here?” Patrick said, holding up his own menu. He felt like his heart was in his throat. “I don’t see David Rose on the menu.”

“I will leave.”

“I guess I’d have to follow you.”

David smacked his menu down on the table. Patrick lowered his just enough so David could see his eyes but not his smile.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” David asked. “My parents now think we’re engaged.”

“Engaged? Well,” Patrick said. He cleared his own throat. He couldn’t stop smiling. “Maybe one day.”


End file.
